Waiting for Bad News | Praying for a Miracle

She didn’t pass on this ear, let’s try again, this happens all the time on this machine.

Let’s try a few more times. 

It’s probably faulty equipment, this machine is really old. I’m sure she’ll pass on the other machine. 

It’s most likely mucus or amniotic fluid in her ear, it will clear up by the next screening. (Day 3)

Here we go, let’s try again…well, let’s try a few more times. Ok, I’m going to need to refer you to the school for the deaf for additional testing. (Day 5)

Let’s try again, ok, the left ear is perfect, let’s test the right ear again. Well, a few more times. (Day 13)

Let’s try this other test, this will show if it’s mucus or amniotic fluid. Hmm…

I’m going to refer to you to the pediatric ear nose throat doctor for additional testing, it looks like it’s not mucus or fluid. 


 

Less than 1% of newborns born in the United States are affected by hearing loss.

Most states, including my state, require all newborns to undergo a hearing screening at or shortly after birth.

When our baby’s right ear failed the first hearing screening, the nurse said, It’s no big deal, let’s try again. 

Three tries later and she failed. Then she failed three more times at her checkup two days later. Then again yesterday at the school for the deaf. Then it was confirmed her ear drum moves, which means there isn’t fluid or mucus blocking the canal, it means she has some degree of hearing loss in her right ear.

We were able to book a cancelled appointment for Monday morning. During this appointment we will do an “ABR” test to see the degree of hearing loss and I think the type (outer, middle, inner?)  or location. I’m still trying to read up as much as possible and learn about everything I can.


Hearing loss wasn’t on our radar. Neither my partner nor I know anyone with such an issue. Maybe elderly suffering from progressive hearing loss, but neither one of us know anyone born with hearing loss.

It’s most likely, according to the statistics, not genetic (neither one of us have hearing loss in our families).

It most likely occurred in the womb because of a fever or some issue during my pregnancy.

It could be my fault. It could have happened during birth.

It could have been something I did during my pregnancy. This might have been preventable.

We don’t know with 100% certainty yet that there is a permanent problem. We do know there is a problem. We will find out on Monday.

I’m waiting for bad news, and praying for a miracle.

My precious baby will be ok, no matter what. She will be loved and provided for, and supported in every single thing she does.

I’m desperately trying to recall everything I learned about audiology and speech pathology in college. Depending on what her problem is, I think this settles what to get my masters degree in. (My bachelors is in linguistics and A&SP is a natural partner to that degree that I’ve been considering since graduation)

I love my daughter, and my heart is breaking for her potential struggles. Though, she will not know them, I hope. She will be raised just like everyone else and will not know the level to which we provide a supportive environment to whatever severity of loss she suffers from.


Is this an issue you know about? Do you have partial hearing loss? Does your child?

 

Email me, please, I’d love to connect. Happysinglemomma@gmail.com.

 

❤ With love.

 

Be thankful for every tiny thing. Every healthy day and every smile and laugh.

It wasn’t on our radar.

 

 

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